1/26/11

1/26/11

While melting broken crayons in molds in the oven to make new crayons:

Ashton: "Mom...now can we eat them?"

Me: "No."

Ashton: (as Kaylee walks in) "Kaylee...we still can't eat the crayons."

1/26/11

Ashton: "Mom, I don't eat my poop."

Me: "Good it is VERY VERY yucky."

Ashton: "Does it have spicy in it?"

Me: "Yes, lots and lots of spicy."

(better safe than sorry)

1/10/11

1/16/10

While driving home from the skating rink:

Trevor- "Mom, when I am 16 and know how to drive......which I pretty much already do.....I am not going to be home much.....just to warn you."

11/10/09

While trying to put matchbox cars down my shirt:

Ashton- "I want to put it in the bucket!"

8/25

After seeing a commercial that the new Jay Leno Show would be in prime time:

Trevor- "Oh good, something good on in prime time, now they can get rid of the freaky show Prime Time Crime."

(He must have only seen commercials for Prime Time Crime because we have never watched it.)

6/19

Trevor- "For paradise for me, all I need is a movie, a big screen TV, a knife or spoon and a jar of peanut butter."........"well, a good movie that is."

6/2

Bryan and I were talking about a couple where the mother is a teacher and the father was also a teacher at a different school:

Bryan- "Wow, that would be nice, they both get the same vacation days! How nice would that be!?!"

Me- "Um....Honey.....we always have the same vacation days too.....I am a stay at home mom....remember?"

4/5

While eating pizza:

Kaylee- "Mom what is this orange stuff on my pizza?"

Me- "Orange Juice."

Kaylee- "Eeww...really?"

Nathan- "There is a hot tamale on mine!"

3/17

While eating hotdogs at Costco:

Nathan- "Mom, I know where orange juice comes from."

Me- "Where?"

Nathan- "Hotdogs."

Me- "What??"

Nathan- "Yeah, squeeze your hotdog and watch what comes out!"

Me- "I don't think that is orange juice."

Nathan- "But look it is orange!"

3/7

As Nathan helped me clean the toilets with Comet:

Nathan- "Mom! I want to put the sugar in the toilet!"

Later that day as we ate spaghetti with parmesan cheese:

Kaylee- "Mom, will you pass the sugar cheese please?"

Apparently my kids think everything white and powdery is sugar!

2/16

As Trevor was trying to take a large bowl of chili out of the microwave

Me- "Trevor that chili ishot and heavy."

Luckily none of my kids thought this was funny at all, but I did have to laugh to myself.

3/17

While eating hotdogs at Costco:

Nathan- "Mom, I know where orange juice comes from."

Me- "Where?"

Nathan- "Hotdogs."

Me- "What??"

Nathan- "Yeah, squeeze your hotdog and watch what comes out!"

Me- "I don't think that is orange juice."

Nathan- "But look it is orange!"

3/7

As Nathan helped me clean the toilets with Comet:

Nathan- "Mom! I want to put the sugar in the toilet!"

Later that day as we ate spaghetti with parmesan cheese:

Kaylee- "Mom, will you pass the sugar cheese please?"

Apparently my kids think everything white and powdery is sugar!

2/16

As Trevor was trying to take a large bowl of chili out of the microwave

Me- "Trevor that chili is hot and heavy."

Luckily none of my kids thought this was funny at all, but I did have to laugh to myself.

2/3

Nathan- "Mom, what should I do with this candy cane I found?"

Me- "Eat it."

Nathan- "NO Mom!  Candy canes are only for Halloween and it is NOT Halloween now is it!"

1/30

While reading jokes from a Spongebob Joke book in the car:

Trevor- "What do you call a squid that robs banks?"

Kaylee- "I don't know."

Trevor- "Billy the Squid." (then in an attempt to explain the joke to those of us with lower intellegence) "You get it?  Billy like a Bill and Squid like a fish....Bill....Fish.....get it???"

Not sure he got it!

2/3

Nathan- "Mom, what should I do with this candy cane I found?"

Me- "Eat it."

Nathan- "NO Mom!  Candy canes are only for Halloween and it is NOT Halloween now is it!"

1/18

While baking a cake by himself and reading the recipe:

Trevor- "1 tsp pure vanilla exact, wow, I dont think I can bethat exact!"

1/12
While pulling into the garage:
Nathan- "Yeah, I still have five toes."

1/12
At Breakfast:
Me- "Wow Kaylee, you are eating a lot, are you trying to grow as big as me?"
Trevor- "Well first she would have to get as big as me."
Kaylee- "Yeah, first Trevor, then Mom, then Dad,....wait....I will just stop at Mom."

2/12
While watching Madagascar at Aunt Andrea's house:
Nathan- "Andrea, Zebra's can't jump!"
Andrea- "Yes they can."
Nathan- "Well not the talking ones."

11/8
The kids were reading from a spongebob joke book:
Trevor- "What does Spongebob eat 3 times a day?
Kaylee- (very excited for having figured out the joke) "Sponges!"
Trevor- "No, a square meal"
Kaylee- (now offended) "That's the SAME THING!"

10/27
We normally drink skim milk, but now that Ashton is almost one we buy him Vitamin D Whole milk, but when we ran out of our skim milk I let the kids have some of Ashton's with dinner:
Trevor- (after tasting Ashton's milk) "Is this what you put in his bottles?!"
Me- "Yes"
Trevor- "No wonder he drinks them down so fast.....this is EGGNOG!"

10/16
We make our kids brush their teeth for 2 minutes before they go to school and have recently started using timers so that they can do it the entire time:
Me- "We have to leave NOW or you will be late for school!"
Kids- "We are brushing our teeth."
Me- "Well you need to be DONE brushing your teeth!"
Kids- "But the timer has not gone off yet!"
Me- "Well then BRUSH FASTER!" (as if that will make the timer beep sooner :)

10/12
Durring Sacrament meeting I had to move Kaylee to the end of the bench by me because she kept fighting while sitting by Trevor. She was being quite defiant and kept trying to go sit by Trevor and repeatedly asked me if she could go sit by Trevor, to which I would say:
Me- "NO! Sit down and be QUIET"
Kaylee- "NO! Can I go sit by Trevor!?!"
Me- "Kaylee, I have answered you and the answer is NOT going to change!"
Kaylee- (with quite a determined look) "How do YOU know!"

10/5
Nathan- "Mom, why do we have to clean this house all these days!?"
Me...in the same whinny voice..- "Because you make a mess in this house all these days!"
Nathan (laughing)- "Ha! Good one Mom!"

9/15
Ashton in his highchair- "Waaaaaah!"
Me- "Ashton, what happened?"
Nathan asleep on the couch- "He fell down."

9/14
Nathan coming in from outside crying
Nathan- "Mom...I fell down and hurt my leg!"
Me- "Now why did you do that?"
Nathan- "I didn't do it!"
Me- "Oh, OK, go outside and play then"
Nathan no longer crying- "OK" and goes out.

9/8
Kaylee- "Mom, I want to be normal"
Me giving her a confussed look
Kaylee- "Well, I know I look normal, but I want to ACT normal!"